My 2nd movie of the year after Resident Evil being another sequel movie. In my memories, the 1st XxX was awesome, really fresh and fun. And since Vin Diesel is back, I wanted it to be the same. Regretfully, it wasn't a good watch for me. The lines were too cheesy and the script didn't work. I also don't see any chemistry with the multinational cast. Maybe that was the intent? The action did not do much to impress, most of the stuff has been done before. I felt it was meant to look cool but not dope. I also couldn't buy in on the jungle skiing scene, it felt unnatural. While watching, I saw some similarities to Fast & Furious movies, the plot was almost the same. I really hope FF8 to be great or much better than XXX.
The trailer for this threequel promised dumb fun, but in reality, the phrase 'dumb fun' barely covers the sort of bombastic action entertainment this extreme sports-themed flick delivers. The Fast and Furious franchise appears steeped in rock-solid physics by comparison. Yet there's a heavy tongue-in-cheek tone that ensures the utter ridiculousness of it all is playful and enjoyable, rather than eye-rolling and pretentious, á la the recent Point Break remake. The light-heartedness goes so far as to include cheeky cameos, colorful character intro screens and a few meta-jokes about The Avengers, which, along with the amount of fun the entire cast seem to be having, gives license to the sheer insanity of the set pieces. There's a grenade party game, skateboarding on the side of a bus, sniping whilst hanging from a tree, fighting in a free-falling military transport plane, jumping over moving cars on a highway, and motorbike skiing at the beach. And that's only a tiny glimpse of what's on display. Headlining the titular comeback, Vin Diesel is clearly having a blast in hero-with-an-attitude mode-think Dominic Toretto but without the solemn family-first moral code-whilst his multicultural co-stars do their best to ham it up in the best way possible. Bollywood star Deepika Padukone is full-on femme fatale, martial arts legend Donnie Yen is a laidback arse-kicker, Aussie Ruby Rose oozes next-gen sexuality, acting vet Toni Collette snarls with glee, Nina Dobrev gives good perky nerd, and Samuel L. Jackson does, well, Samuel L. Jackson. The guiltiest of guilty pleasures, xXx: Return of Xander Cage offers up an unapologetically ludicrous action film that earns bonus points for poking fun at itself.
xXx: Return of Xander Cage is a film that attempts to mask a next to non-existent plot, horrible cuts, and an all-around poorly executed movie with big set pieces, sexual scenes that would make 14-year-old boy excited, and enough craziness to hopefully turn your brain off.
The first two acts of the film are garbage, with many scenes that make one question whether the film was attempting to be some type of quirky funny, or is just simply inept. Perhaps I just don't understand, as I have never seen any of the other films, but if this a continuation of what came before, I am not sure how the series gained a third installment. I could sit here and complain generally, but let me get more specific.
My biggest issues with the film in the first and second act are as follows: The plot doesn't seem to exist and can be summed up in two sentences. Steal something from the bad guys. Turns out the bad guys weren't the bad guys, but actually the good guys, and team up. Secondly, the montage of putting the team together is pieced together poorly and occurs in approximately 25 seconds. Lastly, a majority of the time we spend in these two-thirds of the film are in seeing Xander try to pick up women, real intriguing stuff. Luckily, though, this film does have a third act.
The third act of this movie is fun enough/stupid enough/funny enough/ that it saves this movie from being what I would consider one of the worst I've ever seen. The third act gives us all of the silliness and laughs I thought would occur the whole time. There is one scene in particular where the tech expert of the team has to get into gun action. She proceeds to trip and fall, and as the gun lays on the ground, it shoots two heavily armed soldiers to death. This scene literally made me laugh out loud. I am not sure if it was because of sheer stupidity, or genius comedy, the line between the two is extremely thin.
All in all, xXx: Return Of Xander Cage is a hodgepodge of explosions, women, and violence that might do the job for a 15-year-old boy, but not for someone looking to enjoy a good time at the theaters. I understand that a film of this nature is supposed to be silly and fun, not to be taken seriously, but this film does not execute this goal in an endearing sort of way, rather, an annoying and distasteful sort of way. I rate this film a 30/100.

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